Melbourne: Same, same but different

Moving to Melbourne isn’t about livability or friendliness or even a change of scene for Oscar Hedstrom – it’s more like a system reboot…

Some of you may have read PB’s Melbourne v Sydney: Torn between two cities – feeling like a fool… piece on TBS in follow up to his recent visit to his old hometown Melbourne (if you didn’t, read it!)

Quite randomly, in the week following this, Melbourne was voted as both the world’s friendliest city in a survey undertaken by Conde Nast Traveler magazine and, for the fourth year running, the world’s most liveable city in Economist Intelligence Unit‘s liveability survey of 140 cities.

Following this we did a shout out to our writers as a challenge to put their own cities up for contention…and today Oscar Hedstrom pleads the case for Melbourne, although for him it’s not about the city, it’s about you.

Melbourne. The promised land. The mighty Yarra. Capital of the “Garden State.” Culture. Transport. Parks!

United by real footy, real coffee and real art, the people of Melbourne cycle around their flat, clean, suburbs in their bike lanes grinning from ear to beer. From centre to periphery, small businesses choose the smallest streets to throw out milk crates and re-purposed anythings to serve somethings on. The girls are down to earth and gorgeous. The guys have interesting interests. Friendliest city in the world, take me away!

God, I was sick of it. One by one, pals subbed out of Sydney. Less people to surf with. Less people to eat with. Gone to “study” or just a change of “scene.” Change of scene? Are you kidding? If you want a change of scene move to Ulaan Baatar, not the single most similar city to exist on the whole entire planet. It’s the same. It’s like a boring dream. The same banks, new corners. They play cricket, drive cars. There’s an Elizabeth Street. A Surry Hills. There’s a Chinatown with good dumplings. The pho in Richmond is pretty good. Different radio stations, same bands. Big Day Out. St Jerome’s. In Melbourne, it’s NOVA 100 not 96.9. That’s about accurate – a 3.1 percent difference. Same beer, smaller glass. Get real.

It’s not about Melbourne or Sydney.

It’s about you.

You’re running away. What is more alluring than same same but different? You, but slightly improved? People get paralysed by this idea that we’re all full of this unbridled potential we’re on the verge of realising if only, if only the circumstances were tweaked a bit. Then – then, we could truly become what we know we’re capable of. That’s what Melbourne offers the Sydney-sider. A second chance. A real-life computer game where we can restart the level and have another crack. We’ve learnt from our mistakes but the page won’t refresh. The safest reinvention you’ll ever see.

If it all goes wrong, if it doesn’t work out, if you miss your shitty friends and all the people “holding you back” well, no worries, there’s always the “Jetstar Pricebeat Guarantee.” The flight’s quicker than the L90 to Palm Beach.

So fuck it.

Move to Melbourne.

(DISCLAIMER – I moved to Melbourne six months ago. Good times.)